Getting Down With the Present Moment: The Why’s and How’s
Getting Down With the Present Moment: The Why’s and How’s
Read time: Under 7 minutes
I read something fairly recently that’s been blowing my mind: “It’s not so much that time is passing but that the present moment is ever-changing.”
HOLY SHIT! Is your mind not also blown? (Full disclosure, I don’t know who said this - I apologize - or if these were even the exact words. But the message still stands.)
Okay so maybe you’re asking, “But Rachel, why is this so Earth-shattering?” Well, allow me to explain. The essence of this quote is something that I (and probably you) have heard a million times now: “The present moment is all we really have.” But you know how it goes – you hear something over and over, and maybe you even agree with it, but it doesn’t actually change anything in you. It gets filed away as a cool concept or idea.
Well hearing these particular words in this particular order actually caused a little shift in me. Or rather, a big shift. What it’s given me is a little more access to the present moment – a place where many of us (myself included) strive but often struggle to arrive.
Your classic example of this is taking a trip to a beautiful location with someone you love. You’re eating exquisite food and taking exquisite pictures and it’s all just dreamy except for the fact that you’re not actually there. Your body is there but your attention is elsewhere – perhaps on the work you know is piling up on your desk or the few pounds you really wanted to lose but didn’t in the weeks prior. (Or if you’re me, the fact that your face is broken out badly and why can’t you just have clear skin this one week for the love of god? This is bullshit. You’re 30 years old, why is this even still happening?)
We’re all familiar with the vacation example because when it happens to us we notice. We notice because it’s a big, obvious shame that we weren’t able to really enjoy our trip that we were so looking forward to because our minds were elsewhere.
What may be a little less obvious – and what I’d like to draw your attention to – is the fact that we’re pretty much doing this all the time. And that’s also a big shame.
So back to the quote. For me, this quote has caused a shift in the level of importance placed on the present moment because it takes time (past and future) out of the equation. If you take time out of the equation, then the present moment really IS all we have – it just happens to be changing. This is pretty different from the way we typically experience the present moment – as a momentary blip that’s sandwiched between our past and future. When we view the present moment in this way, we tend to experience it as one or more of the following:
A stepping stone to a more desirable future
The unfortunate result of a less than desirable past
An inconvenience
Something we need to “push through”
Boring
Disappointing
Unimportant
Now brace yourself because things are about to take a dark but very real turn. Let me make one small adjustment to the sentence above and say this all again. When we view the present moment in this way, we tend to experience our lives as one or more of the following:
A stepping stone to a more desirable future
The unfortunate result of a less than desirable past
An inconvenience
Something we need to “push through”
Boring
Disappointing
Unimportant
And that is really unfortunate. Can you feel the realness of this right now? If not, take a moment to try because it’s important.
In his book “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment,” Eckhart Tolle (the King of Presence) says:
“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”
Of all the problems we work tirelessly to solve for ourselves (getting more sleep, building better relationships, finding the perfect filter for our selfies), shouldn’t NOT MISSING YOUR WHOLE LIFE be near the top of the list?
Being present (or mindful) is something I value deeply and something I work hard at. And yes, it is work because it goes against our deeply ingrained habit of being somewhere other than where we are. It can also be frustrating at the beginning when you realize how incredibly not present you are most of the time. But if you care about not missing out on your one and only precious life, then it’s incredibly worth it.
So without further ado, here are some of my favorite ways to get down with the present moment.
1) Work on changing your mindset around what’s worthy of paying attention to. It’s not just the vacations and the “good times.” If we subconsciously believe that only the happy/sparkly/shiny moments are worthy of our attention, then we’re going to be checked out most of the time (i.e., we’re going to be checked out most of our life).
Sometimes life IS boring (contrary to what social media might have you believe). Sometimes it’s painful. A lot of times it’s pretty mundane. That’s all part of it. Welcome it. Be with the feeling of boredom and see what it’s like. Be curious about it. Notice yourself wanting to get out of it. Notice your frustration with yourself for wanting to get out of it. Notice it all and marvel at it. This is what it’s like to be alive.
2) Practice with an activity. The ultimate goal here is to be present all the time, but let’s be real – that’s not going to be the reality for most of us. And that’s okay! What we want to work toward is more presence (or maybe some presence) and one way to do that is to practice on an activity. Something that has a beginning and an end.
So pick an activity – I recommend something that has a physical or sensory component rather than something purely mental such as doing the dishes, eating lunch, driving or riding in the car, doing laundry, feeding your pet, shampooing your hair, doing the cha-cha slide. And for the length of that activity, put all your attention on the activity. Take in the colors, the physical sensations, the sounds, the smells – take it all in. And if and when you notice that your attention has drifted to your mind, simply (and without judgment) guide it back to the activity.
Something you might notice is that this is incredibly difficult at first! Try not to judge yourself. Know that with practice, it will get easier.
3) Start by feeling for the “aliveness” in your body. This is a suggestion from Eckhart Tolle. A great place to start is in the palms of the hands or the soles of the feet. Close your eyes and see if you can sense the energy there. For me, this almost feels like a gentle electricity – a subtle tingling. Other people may sense a warmth or a pulsing. Once you find it, hold your attention there. And maybe this is the whole exercise for you – that’s a great start!
If you want to take it a step further, try holding your attention on the feeling of aliveness in your body while looking around and taking in your surroundings. This can be especially fun to do outside. By holding part of your attention in your body (which is always in the present moment), you’ll get to experience the moment with fewer interruptions from your mind (ah, sweet relief).
Well there you have it! As you experiment with bringing your attention to the present moment, please remember not to beat yourself up for not being present. It’s all okay. The important thing is noticing and trying. Over and over. And then one day you may notice that you feel a little bit lighter. How about that?