7 Unconventional Gifts to Give Yourself in 2020

7 Unconventional Gifts to Give Yourself in 2020

Read time: About 6 minutes

Let’s talk unconventional gifts! And just to clarify, I don’t mean do-it-yourself hot sauce kits or salt and pepper shakers shaped like Star Wars characters. I mean gifts you can give yourself totally free of charge for purposes of enhancing your life. I happen to love all things unconventional (including DIY hot sauce kits) and I also love #self-care, so I thought what better way to kick off the new year?

 Below you’ll find 7 of my favorite unconventional gifts that I’ve given myself at one point or another. I recommend picking one or a couple that speak to you and trying them on. I’ll kick things off by giving us both the gift of a short and sweet intro. Enjoy!

1.    Forgive yourself and move on

 This is perhaps the least “unconventional” thing on the list, but it’s ENTIRELY TOO IMPORTANT NOT TO MENTION! Somewhere deep down do you believe that you deserve to suffer for past mistakes? That you deserve the pain of reliving your worst moments and that somehow that pain will keep you from repeating your missteps? This couldn’t be further from the truth. Dwelling on your past mistakes keeps you small, sad, and keeps you from moving forward in life. It can also lead to a full blown obsession over your perceived inadequacies. You don’t need that shit – not this year!

 Seriously, whatever you’re holding on to, do what you need to do to let it go. Read a book about self-forgiveness. Do a guided meditation. Read about other people who have been there, done that and have come out the other side. Learn whatever lesson you needed to learn (and apologize if needed) but then let it go. Unless you have secretly committed a violent crime, there is nothing unique about you or your situation that makes you an exception. Forgive yourself and move on. 

2.    Take a self-improvement vacation

 How much time do you spend trying to improve yourself? And I don’t just mean the obvious stuff like exercising or reading self-help books. I also mean stuff like reflecting on how you could’ve said or done something better or how you’d like to improve in the future. Improving yourself is all well and good but it can easily get out of hand. And when it does, it’s not only exhausting but also counterproductive. It can also hinder you from appreciating your life as it is (and yourself as you are). 

 If you’re deep in the self-help game, try picking a designated day for not improving yourself. Choose a day or a weekend where your only goal is to experience your life as it is - without judgment. Don’t try to “be better.” Give yourself the gift, if only for a day, of being exactly where you are without trying to get anywhere else.   

3.    Wear whatever the hell you want

 Listen, I get that some people couldn’t care less about their clothes. This one isn’t for them. This is for the people who do care and to those people I say: WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL MAKES YOU FEEL FABULOUS THIS YEAR. 

 And by fabulous I mean whatever is important to you: Sexy, confident, comfortable – whatever! There are very few instances (with work being the possible exception) where you absolutely must dress a certain way. Most times, we’re guessing what’s most appropriate based on the occasion and the people who will be there. This year, give yourself the gift of caring more about how you feel in your clothes than what other people expect of you when picking out your outfit. If you want to wear stilettos and a sequined dress to a sports bar, do it. If you’d rather wear a full sweat suit that’s two different shades of gray, you do you. 

4.    If you’re gonna do it, enjoy it

 If you’re going to give into temptation, at least try to enjoy it in the moment. Maybe you’re on a diet but decided to eat some cake. Maybe you said you were going to wake up early to exercise yet you find yourself – several “snoozes” later – still comfortably laying in bed. It’s easy to berate yourself for choosing instant gratification over long term goals, but it doesn’t make any sense to berate yourself WHILE you’re trying to get some satisfaction. That’s 100% self sabotage. 

 If you decided to eat the cake, enjoy it. Savor it. Get all worked up about how great it is. If you decided to stay in bed, really take in the experience. Roll around in there and revel in how good the sheets feel. And if you find that you absolutely can’t enjoy yourself...well, then stop. But if you’ve already made the decision, try giving yourself the gift of thoroughly enjoying it. This doesn’t mean you can’t make a different decision next time. 

5.    Cut your losses

 Ever finished an entire book or watched a movie that you couldn’t get into simply because you’d already paid for it? Ever stayed in a relationship that was no longer working because you’d already invested a ton of time and energy into it? Ever gotten a degree in something you despised but were convinced you should “stick it out” at your soul-crushing job because, well, wouldn’t people be concerned if you gave it up so quickly? (Just me?)

 If you can relate to any of this, consider giving yourself the gift of cutting your losses this year. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by investing more time, energy, or potentially money into something (or someone) that isn’t enhancing your life. I know it seems logical to follow through with something you’ve already invested in, but if you can clearly see that the situation isn’t for you (or has potentially become toxic), consider walking away. You’ll end up with more time, energy, and/or money to spend on the people and things you actually enjoy.   

6.    Start living from the inside out rather than the outside in

 This is something I’ve been experimenting with recently and, let me tell you, I’m thoroughly enjoying it. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably ruined a number of experiences for yourself because you were overly concerned about everyone else’s experience. For instance, you’re at a party having a fabulous time when you notice a few of your friends looking bored and over it. You ask them if everything is okay and they tell you it is. If you’re an overly empathetic person (or just overly concerned with others’ experience), you could easily let this ruin your good time. 

 But not if you decide to give yourself the gift of living from the inside out this year. This simply means staying with your own experience rather than getting caught up in how others are experiencing something (or how you believe they are experiencing something). As I mentioned, this is common in people who are high on the empathy scale. Empathy is a wonderful trait to have but it can become problematic if you have trouble separating your own experience and feelings about something from those of the people around you. 

 Try reminding yourself that everyone is responsible for their own emotions, behavior, and their own good time. Try asking yourself how you’re feeling about something or whether you’re enjoying yourself and then sticking with that. Taking everyone else into account is impossible, stressful, and not your responsibility.  

7.    Ask a new question to enhance your experience of life

 “Enhance your entire experience of life just by asking a question? Not buying it.” I don’t blame you but GIVE IT A TRY! This is another one of my favorites to experiment with. The next time you find yourself frustrated, annoyed, or in a bad mood try the following perspective shift: Move away from asking “How should things be?” and move toward the simpler question “How are things?” 

 Let me clarify, we ask ourselves “How should things be?” all the time, but we usually aren’t aware of it. It’s something that’s running silently in the background - more like a perspective or a lens through which you’re seeing life. For instance, you’re at the doctor’s office and someone is talking loudly on a cellphone in the otherwise quiet waiting room. You’re annoyed. Why? Because you’re holding your experience up against your expectation of how things should be: “People should not talk loudly in waiting rooms.” But what if you were to shift your perspective and look through the lens of “How are things?” Well, there’s a man talking loudly in the room you’re waiting in. End of story. Try asking this multiple times throughout the day when you find yourself resisting the way things are. It doesn’t always work, but when it does it truly is a gift. 

 And that’s it!

 Happy gift giving y’all! I’d love to hear about your experience with these or other unconventional gifts you’ve given yourself in the comments below!